Earlier this week, my family and especially my daughter were faced with some middle school “growing pains”. My daughter is about 3/4’s of the way through her 1st year in Middle School. It has been a fairly smooth transition for her and for us (for me and my wife). One thing that my daughter is beginning to experience 1st hand is the fact that she went from being a “Senior” (by Elementary school standards…in 5th grade) where she was Top Brass, was in a situation where all the kids looked up to her and her classmates, she was one of the trendsetters and on the list of “people to know”…to becoming a “Freshman” where she is fresh meat, the low man on the totem pole, looked down upon by the “upperclassmen” etc. The influence that she had over and on people is not as strong as it once was because she doesn’t carry the same “social clout” in the new school.
This became very evident this past Monday, when my daughter became involved in a situation that subjected her to having to deal with the reality of intimidation. On her way home from school, one of the 8th graders that usually accompanies her began to use foul language. (The timing could not have been more perfect as she and I had a long conversation about the use of foul language among other things this weekend. After our conversation, she purposed in her heart that foul language was not going be something that she practiced in her life...NOW BACK TO THE STORY). She politely asked the young man to stop cursing, but he insisted, just to agitate her. Remembering the influence that she “used” to have as one of the “big women” on campus back in Elementary School, She stopped dead in her tracks and moved closer to the young man and said in a stern voice, ”Do it one more time!!!” Not being moved at all by her emotions, the young man cursed again, displayed a small weapon and made it clear that he was ready to fight and comfortable doing so. She immediately backed down and continued to walk home.
After being home for about 1 hour, she and I began to talk about her day. She began to go through the details of the day, carefully trying to mask the fact that she was still bothered by the incident with the 8th grade boy. I picked up on this and I asked her to tell me what was really on her mind. Fearfully, she told me the story. She expressed fright about what the boy may do to retaliate, or what others might think about her telling her father. She didn’t want to be a “snitch”, but she was also paralyzed by fear. I assured her that I was her father and I would never let anything happen to her. I love her and I will do everything in my power to assure her safety even if it meant giving up my life; moreover, I assured her that her Heavenly Father would also keep watch over her.
She was listening, but she didn’t HEAR me. She had allowed herself to be so intimidated that in her mind this 8th grade boy was more powerful than her earthly father and her Heavenly Father combined. I knew that I had to do something drastic. My plan was to meet the boy and hopefully his parents at the bus stop the next day. #1 to make sure that he knew that I was no joke and #2 to make sure that his parents knew about the situation and that we could work together to resolve the matter. The night before, as we prayed together and read scripture, my wife and I assured our baby girl that God would work the situation out and that everything was going to be alright.
I woke up ready for action. My wife and I both threw on our sweats packed up our daughter and arrived at the bus stop about 25 minutes early to make sure that we didn’t miss the parents. Time passed as we inspected each car and saw no sign of the young man. About 5 minutes prior to the scheduled arrival of the bus, pointing to a young man turning the corner, my daughter proclaimed, “There he is”. I immediately jumped out of the car like I was one of the members of the A-Team and with a focused since of urgency I made my way over to the young man. Everything in me wanted to knock him out, but God allowed me to see a young man that was confused, fragile and hurt. I shook his hand and began to explain to him why I was there and what my expectations were of him and of his treatment of my daughter. After receiving his parent’s contact information, my daughter was brought over to apologize for her role in the event as well. He accepted and as he trembled, he too apologized as well. We were able, through the power of God, to turn a situation totally around for good.
We were shocked to come to find out the young man has been beaten up a couple of times recently due to his refusal to join a gang. He began to carry around a small weapon in order to defend himself, but unfortunately he began to intimidate others in the same manner in which he was being intimidated.
This situation caused me to reflect on my life and how I have sometimes allowed myself to be intimidated. Like my daughter, I have sometimes allowed my challenges and situations to appear to be more vast and dominant than God. I have magnified my problems and minimized God and His ability to empower me, to deliver and to protect me.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord can be trusted to make you strong and protect you from harm.
What problems/challenges in your life have you allowed to become larger than God? Have you allowed your circumstances to block your view of God? Have you forgotten that your Heavenly Father is ready and willing to step to your enemies, to protect you from them and/or to give you the strength to conquer them? Make today the day that you choose to tell your enemies and your problems that they better be afraid because you are “about to get your Daddy”.
Be Blessed,
B
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Fog
This morning I woke up around 4:30AM to get some things done for work. As I looked out the large window in the front of my house I was amazed at the density of the fog that had blanketed the neighborhood. I could barely make out anything beyond the reach of my driveway. My spirit dropped a bit as I was looking forward to a gorgeous and sun-drenched day, but based on what I could see…this was not going to be “that” day.
I am not a big fan of fog…especially driving in the fog. Navigating in the fog definitely presents it challenges. I am without doubt more alert when driving in the fog, given that visibility is diminished so it is often difficult to see potential hazards in the road ahead. It also amazes me when I see people switch to their high beams when driving in the fog. If it wasn’t bad enough that they teach you in driving school to not do this, it also becomes painfully obvious because the wall of fog appears to move closer to you once you activate your car’s high beams. Nevertheless some people have to do things their way.
When I think about fog, I remember back in elementary school when one of my teachers described fog as “cotton balls falling from the sky and floating just above the ground” (yes… I attended Baltimore City Public Schools and I’m proud of it J ). A more appropriate/grown up definition is: a cloudlike mass or layer of minute water droplets or ice crystals near the surface of the earth, appreciably reducing visibility (Dictionary.com).
Fog not only exists in the external environment, it also exists in the human interior. There are many types of fog including:
*Mental Fog- clouds of the mind, that generate confusion or inability or unwillingness to make a sound decisions.
*Emotional Fog- clouds of the heart that impact relationships with others and self acceptance
*Spiritual Fog- clouds of the soul that hinders us from seeing God, His plans and His love for us
Many of us have experienced one or more of these “fogs” at one point in our lives. In fact some of you may be under a “cotton ball” right now. I am a witness that the light of God through His truth, power and love can lift you up out of darkness and into His Light, so that you can see clearly though the “fogs” of life. Until the “fog” lifts, God has promised to lead us and to guide us though Faith as we exercise our dependence on Him. While the “fogs” of life don’t always immediately lift, if we trust God, listen to what He is telling us through the “foggy” experience, we will be ever grateful and determined to honor and praise Him when the fog lifts.
What mental fog is causing you to struggle with making a “tough” decision? What Emotion fog is hindering you from loving others and your self with “reckless abandon”? What spiritual Fog is causing you to doubt that God Loves you?
A funny thing happen today…what started as a gloomy day dominated by fog, turned out to be a gloriously beautiful day once the fog dissipated. In reality this beautiful and sunny day was there all of the time, but the fog clouded our view of it. It was not until the fog lifted that we were able to experience the warmth and beauty of the Sun. I urge you today to trust in God through your fog so that you can experience the warmth and beauty of the Love of God.
Be Blessed,
B
I am not a big fan of fog…especially driving in the fog. Navigating in the fog definitely presents it challenges. I am without doubt more alert when driving in the fog, given that visibility is diminished so it is often difficult to see potential hazards in the road ahead. It also amazes me when I see people switch to their high beams when driving in the fog. If it wasn’t bad enough that they teach you in driving school to not do this, it also becomes painfully obvious because the wall of fog appears to move closer to you once you activate your car’s high beams. Nevertheless some people have to do things their way.
When I think about fog, I remember back in elementary school when one of my teachers described fog as “cotton balls falling from the sky and floating just above the ground” (yes… I attended Baltimore City Public Schools and I’m proud of it J ). A more appropriate/grown up definition is: a cloudlike mass or layer of minute water droplets or ice crystals near the surface of the earth, appreciably reducing visibility (Dictionary.com).
Fog not only exists in the external environment, it also exists in the human interior. There are many types of fog including:
*Mental Fog- clouds of the mind, that generate confusion or inability or unwillingness to make a sound decisions.
*Emotional Fog- clouds of the heart that impact relationships with others and self acceptance
*Spiritual Fog- clouds of the soul that hinders us from seeing God, His plans and His love for us
Many of us have experienced one or more of these “fogs” at one point in our lives. In fact some of you may be under a “cotton ball” right now. I am a witness that the light of God through His truth, power and love can lift you up out of darkness and into His Light, so that you can see clearly though the “fogs” of life. Until the “fog” lifts, God has promised to lead us and to guide us though Faith as we exercise our dependence on Him. While the “fogs” of life don’t always immediately lift, if we trust God, listen to what He is telling us through the “foggy” experience, we will be ever grateful and determined to honor and praise Him when the fog lifts.
What mental fog is causing you to struggle with making a “tough” decision? What Emotion fog is hindering you from loving others and your self with “reckless abandon”? What spiritual Fog is causing you to doubt that God Loves you?
A funny thing happen today…what started as a gloomy day dominated by fog, turned out to be a gloriously beautiful day once the fog dissipated. In reality this beautiful and sunny day was there all of the time, but the fog clouded our view of it. It was not until the fog lifted that we were able to experience the warmth and beauty of the Sun. I urge you today to trust in God through your fog so that you can experience the warmth and beauty of the Love of God.
Be Blessed,
B
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Closet or Garage
Recently I had the satisfaction of completing a home project. Through great effort, sweat, planning and diligence, I was able to add a shelving system in my garage. I must admit that I procrastinated on the project. About 2 ½ years ago I completed a similar project in the bedroom closet that my wife and I share. I completed that project in 1 day. On the flip side, it took me about 1 month to complete the garage shelving. The concept and the skills needed to complete the projects were the same. Find the studs, install the shelving track, make sure it is level and then secure the track to the studs. Pretty straight forward…. So why did it take me 1 day to finish one project and 1 month to finish another?
It recently dawned on me why I flew through one project and not the other that was similar. It was the fact that with the closet project, I was armed with a greater sense of urgency, an intense level of focus and a clear understanding of the need to complete the task. The circumstances surrounding the need for the projects were different. With the closet project the need was more apparent…in my eyes. Let me explain…
As my wife and I had just returned from one of our much needed vacations, we were shocked to find that almost all of our clothes from our closet were on the floor because the builder had not properly installed the closet system in our bedroom. I went from relaxed mode to “Bob the Builder” mode (Can we fix it...Yes we can) in a matter of seconds. By the evening I had gone to Home Depot, purchased the material and installed the closet shelving system, because I knew that we (my wife especially) could not operate without a functioning closet. Once the job had been completed and I hung the last shirt up in the “new closet”. I had an immense sense of satisfaction. The garage project was not met with equaled intensity because I approached it as something that I WANTED to do versus something that I NEEDED to do. In fact the need was the same, as my wife was eventually forced to park outside of the garage during most of the winter, but it was my perception of the need that was different.
Often time our inability or unwillingness to distinguish between things that we “want” to do and the things that we “need” to do becomes a barrier to us being able to demonstrate the love of God fully toward others. We sometimes allow our feelings to block out our ability to rationalize and subsequently allow “how we feel”, about people and circumstances, to dictate how we demonstrate the love of God.
God has given us the ability and the privilege to help others; however, sometimes we are only compelled to help when we “feel” like it. Regardless of whether we “feel” like it or not, the urgency of the need that exists in the lives of those around us in not diminished. We are called not only to love, but to love well.
Philippians 1:9-11 (The Message) So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.
When it comes to loving others and to demonstrating the Love of God, God’s standard is so much higher than human standards. God calls us to love the “unlovely”, those who will not love you back, those who “use” you, those who can’t repay you, those who curse you, those who mean all types of evil toward you…etc. Simply stated God wants us to love others the way that He loves us (we are “unlovely”, selfish etc).
As we choose to demonstrate the love of God through our relationships with our spouses, our children, our co-workers, our extended family, our friends, our enemies and random people that we encounter, let us approach each opportunity to love with sincerity so that people can see God through our love and be drawn to a closer relationship with Him.
The urgency of the need for love is present. Will you approach your opportunities to love like I approached the garage project or the closet project?
Be Blessed,
B
It recently dawned on me why I flew through one project and not the other that was similar. It was the fact that with the closet project, I was armed with a greater sense of urgency, an intense level of focus and a clear understanding of the need to complete the task. The circumstances surrounding the need for the projects were different. With the closet project the need was more apparent…in my eyes. Let me explain…
As my wife and I had just returned from one of our much needed vacations, we were shocked to find that almost all of our clothes from our closet were on the floor because the builder had not properly installed the closet system in our bedroom. I went from relaxed mode to “Bob the Builder” mode (Can we fix it...Yes we can) in a matter of seconds. By the evening I had gone to Home Depot, purchased the material and installed the closet shelving system, because I knew that we (my wife especially) could not operate without a functioning closet. Once the job had been completed and I hung the last shirt up in the “new closet”. I had an immense sense of satisfaction. The garage project was not met with equaled intensity because I approached it as something that I WANTED to do versus something that I NEEDED to do. In fact the need was the same, as my wife was eventually forced to park outside of the garage during most of the winter, but it was my perception of the need that was different.
Often time our inability or unwillingness to distinguish between things that we “want” to do and the things that we “need” to do becomes a barrier to us being able to demonstrate the love of God fully toward others. We sometimes allow our feelings to block out our ability to rationalize and subsequently allow “how we feel”, about people and circumstances, to dictate how we demonstrate the love of God.
God has given us the ability and the privilege to help others; however, sometimes we are only compelled to help when we “feel” like it. Regardless of whether we “feel” like it or not, the urgency of the need that exists in the lives of those around us in not diminished. We are called not only to love, but to love well.
Philippians 1:9-11 (The Message) So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.
When it comes to loving others and to demonstrating the Love of God, God’s standard is so much higher than human standards. God calls us to love the “unlovely”, those who will not love you back, those who “use” you, those who can’t repay you, those who curse you, those who mean all types of evil toward you…etc. Simply stated God wants us to love others the way that He loves us (we are “unlovely”, selfish etc).
As we choose to demonstrate the love of God through our relationships with our spouses, our children, our co-workers, our extended family, our friends, our enemies and random people that we encounter, let us approach each opportunity to love with sincerity so that people can see God through our love and be drawn to a closer relationship with Him.
The urgency of the need for love is present. Will you approach your opportunities to love like I approached the garage project or the closet project?
Be Blessed,
B
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Good 2 Great
It has been my experience that every relationship that I have been involved in has endured challenges that have either made the relationship stronger or have resulted in the severing of the tie. As I step back and reflect in some of the many life lessons that I have learned, I am comforted by the fact that I am a better me today because of the many different people that I have encountered along my journey in life.
Some of these people came into my life for only a brief moment, while others are permanent fixtures in my life…Some came only to take from me, yet others never took but only gave to me…Some came to attempt to drown me in my own tears, while others brought the comfort of words that restored and renewed my mind, heart and spirit… Some came to promote and to magnify my fears, while others provoked me to take bold steps toward my destiny.
Recently I have reflected on these truths as they relate to my relationship with my wife. While most people think that we are a “model couple” and that I’m the best husband and father in the world J, but we go through challenges (I like to call them opportunities), just like everyone else. We have a good marriage. Most people would love to have a good relationship. We help each other, compromise on ideas, support each other in the pursuit of our dreams, express our love through actions and through words, worship God together at Church and at home, pray for and with each other etc… That is all good… but good is often the enemy of GREAT.
It is in the moments where we have been faced with tremendous struggle, when we have overcome disappointments, when we have made the decision to be more transparent before each other, that God has allowed us to experience GREATNESS. Just as muscles only grow stronger through strength training (during this process the muscles are “torn” and grow back stronger as they heal), our relationship has only grown stronger when we’ve fought through the pain, fatigue and hurts of life and we chose to love deeper and more genuinely than before.
In many of our relationships, we have settled for just operating in “good” mode. We accept that fact that since nothing is really going “wrong” then we are ok. Every true relationship (which is deeper than just being acquainted with a person) should be one that is growing. You should be promoting growth in others and they should be promoting growth in you or else the relationship is fruitless and stagnant.
Today, as you reflect not only on your relationships with others, but also on your relationship with God, challenge yourself to take your relationship to the next level. There are too many marriages, families, churches etc. on “cruise control”. When you are in “cruise control” you are not fully engaged in your progress. I believe that this is the perfect time to take full control of our relationships and to expand them beyond our comfort zones so that we can effectively demonstrate to the world what true GODLY GREATNESS looks like.
God is ready to demonstrate His Love to the world through our GREAT relationships.
Be Blessed,
B
Some of these people came into my life for only a brief moment, while others are permanent fixtures in my life…Some came only to take from me, yet others never took but only gave to me…Some came to attempt to drown me in my own tears, while others brought the comfort of words that restored and renewed my mind, heart and spirit… Some came to promote and to magnify my fears, while others provoked me to take bold steps toward my destiny.
Recently I have reflected on these truths as they relate to my relationship with my wife. While most people think that we are a “model couple” and that I’m the best husband and father in the world J, but we go through challenges (I like to call them opportunities), just like everyone else. We have a good marriage. Most people would love to have a good relationship. We help each other, compromise on ideas, support each other in the pursuit of our dreams, express our love through actions and through words, worship God together at Church and at home, pray for and with each other etc… That is all good… but good is often the enemy of GREAT.
It is in the moments where we have been faced with tremendous struggle, when we have overcome disappointments, when we have made the decision to be more transparent before each other, that God has allowed us to experience GREATNESS. Just as muscles only grow stronger through strength training (during this process the muscles are “torn” and grow back stronger as they heal), our relationship has only grown stronger when we’ve fought through the pain, fatigue and hurts of life and we chose to love deeper and more genuinely than before.
In many of our relationships, we have settled for just operating in “good” mode. We accept that fact that since nothing is really going “wrong” then we are ok. Every true relationship (which is deeper than just being acquainted with a person) should be one that is growing. You should be promoting growth in others and they should be promoting growth in you or else the relationship is fruitless and stagnant.
Today, as you reflect not only on your relationships with others, but also on your relationship with God, challenge yourself to take your relationship to the next level. There are too many marriages, families, churches etc. on “cruise control”. When you are in “cruise control” you are not fully engaged in your progress. I believe that this is the perfect time to take full control of our relationships and to expand them beyond our comfort zones so that we can effectively demonstrate to the world what true GODLY GREATNESS looks like.
God is ready to demonstrate His Love to the world through our GREAT relationships.
Be Blessed,
B
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