Growing in Tolerance

We have all seen people that fall apart over any and everything. Sometimes you just want to give them a little shake and whisper two words of wisdom to them… “GROW UP!!!!”. It can be said that immature people have very little tolerance.

The culture that we live in preaches tolerance but most people can’t “tolerate” to a large extent. Tolerance is defined as a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own. Tolerance is also defined as the act or capacity of enduring; or endurance. We are “expected” to tolerate people with differing views, different ways of doing things, different looks etc, but there is a strong and many times overt tone that resonates within the walls of our culture that is evidenced by the “world revolves around me”, “I got to have it my way when I want it” and “if you can’t do it for me right now, then I’ll find somebody who can” syndromes. We want to be tolerated but we don’t want to endure.

We give up on spouses, children, family members, friends, jobs, vehicles, homes and sad to say God when conflict, confrontation or challenging circumstances arise. Many times the reason that we give up is due to a lack of a willingness to grow. Growing is one of the most rewarding yet one of the most difficult aspects of life, but growing is tied directly to Love.

At our last small group session concerning 40 days of Community, we delved into the topic of Growing Together. In order to Grow Together we must have endurance or patience. Show me a person who is wise and I can assure you that person is a person who knows the value of patience. Think about some of the many “impatient” things that you have said and done in your life. I’m sure that the result of those actions and words were not indicative of “LOVE”. “Rushing” is the Miracle Grow that accelerates the growth of the flower called “Regret”.

Slow down because Love is Patient.

Love is also Truthful. Trust is the basis of Truth. Love opens the door to the innermost workings of our hearts and minds and exposes them to the ones that we love. If you are not willing to be transparent, you are not willing to love or to be loved. When we are transparent, truthful and totally accessible, we foster an environment of trust. It is only in an environment of Trust and Truthfulness that we can effectively begin to Speak the Truth in Love. When a person knows you (your faults and your successes) then they, through your openness, can accept your truthfulness about them because they know that your motives come from a place of Love.

Speaking the Truth in Love is not easy, but if we love each other then we must be willing to come face to face with the very conflict that will usher us into a deeper level of intimacy in our relationships. In order to speak the Truth in Love, we must:

· Check our Motives (We tend to criticize in others what we hate about ourselves. Our motive must be to help not to hurt) Matthew 7:3-5 (NLT) says, “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye^[a] when you have a log in your own? ⁴ How can you think of saying to your friend,^[b] ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? ⁵ Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

· Plan your presentation (when to speak, what to say, how to say it)

· Pray (for wisdom, for grace, for courage and for your hearts to be prepared and softened)

· Say it tactfully, lovingly and gently (Proverbs 16:21, “Wise hearts are known for understanding what is right. Pleasant words make people want to learn more.”)

Love requires that we forgive. Forgiving involves no longer looking at the person who “wronged” you through human eyes. It involves humbling yourself, viewing them and the situation through the filter of grace and surrendering your need to avenge yourself. It is giving up your right to “recount” all the wrongs that someone has done because true love keeps no record of wrong. Love is true tolerance.

We are all imperfect people and we bring our imperfections into every relationship that we take part in, but Love makes allowances for our faults and says that I’m willing to accept you, open my life up to you and allow you to grow because I want to grow along with you. God uses the people and the circumstances of life to shape you, but you must make a commitment to grow and to tolerate the uncomfortable and uncertain state of being that accompanies moving from one stage to grow into another.

Are you willing to endure for Love? Can you “tolerate” others long enough to allow Love to grow in you and in them? Are you ready to speak the truth and to hear the truth in Love?

It’s time to “GROW UP” together.

Be Blessed,

B

Fallin' in Love

The hit song “Fallin” by Alicia Keys begins:

I keep on fallin in love with you
Sometimes I love ya
Sometimes you make me blue
Sometimes I feel good
At times I feel used
Loving you darling
Makes me so confused

I keep on fallin in and out of love with you
I never loved someone way that I loved you

This song details the rollercoaster ride and the uncertain feelings that accompany a person’s journey of “fallin’ in love”. This song is one of many that touch on the process or idea of “fallin in love” and most of us have at one time or another felt the turmoil, confusion and uncertainty of what we describe as “fallin in love”.

Have you ever stopped and thought about the actual meaning of the words “Fallin in Love”? I don’t know about you, but I have never experienced an earthly “fall” that made me a stronger person. When you fall (physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally), IT HURTS and is almost always a NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE. Falling is accompanied by fear and a sense of being alone because there is no one there to catch you or prevent you from falling. “FALLING” IS A LONELY PLACE.

Love is something that is uplifting and that instills a sense of stability and unity. When we love one another, we don’t “fall” for one another or because of one another we in fact open the door and set in motion the process of belonging to one another.

We explored the notion of “Belonging Together” this week in our small study group. We continued to talk about how “Love Looks” in the Family of God. Simply stated:

· Love always protects. Covering each other in prayer and providing an environment that is safe and where confidentiality dwells. Love and gossip can never occupy the same place. Proverbs 11:13 “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”

· Love always trusts. When we love, we believe in and for each other. We make ourselves vulnerable toward others and we intercede on their behalf. We stand “at the altar” in faith for them.

· Love always hopes. We view others with a joyful expectation. We celebrate their achievements as if they were our own. We eradicate the thought of HATE and jealousy when we see others get blessed. We should be inspired and energized when we see God working in others, knowing that the same God loves and will work through us as well. Are you a “fan club” for other people or are your loudest cheers for yourself?

· Love always perseveres. Through thick and thin, when the dust settles, when the chips are down…Are you still around? Proverbs 18:24 “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”

Love is based on commitment. “Fallin in love” is based on feelings and feelings always fail you. As members of the Family or God, we belong and depend on each other and because we belong to each other, we must commit to loving one another; however our love can not be confined within the four walls of the building in which we meet to worship, the house in which we live, the circle of “the lovely” that we surround ourselves with. Real love compels us. It should not be restrained or confined to our “brothers and sisters” in our “Godly Family”. God intended for His love to penetrate our very beings and radiate from us to light the world. This can only be accomplished when we realize that we are connected and that we “Belong Together”.

Is your love based on feelings? Are you ready to make a commitment to love instead of just “fallin in love? If what you call “love” doesn’t protect, trust, hope or preserve, then stop “fallin” and begin to “rise up” in love.

Be Blessed,

B

Regret

Regret can motivate you to never miss another golden opportunity or it can paralyze you so that you are no longer willing to take a chance because you can’t “get over” the opportunity that you missed in the past. We have all been there. Regret is a powerful force, but there is something that is far superior than regret. This force has the power to bring regret to its knees. Simply stated…it is the powerful force known as PREPARATION!!!

Some opportunities are missed due to the fact that we aren’t willing to step out, but I believe most opportunities that are missed are missed because we aren’t prepared.

Preparation is the prelude to success.

As we continued our small group study this week, we dug deeper into the topic of Love and Community by introducing the idea of “Reaching Out Together”. We are constantly faced with opportunities to be loving and kind. Both (Love and Kindness) are actions and can only be seen by others through our deeds. Maturity as it relates to Love is also measured by how much we are focused on the wellbeing, growth and needs of others. “Baby Love” or immature “love” is inwardly focused and severs the true bond of community that is meant to be shared by people who care and desire to be kind to one another.

In order for us to be effective in delivering the gift of Love and to take advantage of opportunities to Love we must be prepared. We must:

· Recognize the needs of the members of our communities

· Take inventory to see what God has provided to us to assist us in meeting the needs of others

· Get Organized (so that we can effectively and efficiently serve)

· Measure the need (break down the need into “workable” parts)

· Prepare our hearts. II Corinthians 9:11 Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous. And when we take your gifts to those who need them, they will thank God.

· Be Available. James 1:22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

God specializes in taking little and turning it into much, but in order for God to multiply our efforts, our resources, our talents etc, we must WILLINGLY give what we have back to HIM. God can make miracles happen through those with a willing heart.

Our challenges (opportunities) are seemingly impossible to overcome/defeat… widespread homelessness, physical starvation, emotional distress, broken families, lack of education, lack of opportunities etc. We may feel regret, from missed opportunities to serve others in the past or regret and pain from a past experience when someone didn’t reach out to us when we were in need; however, let’s not let regret hold us back from love. Once we give what we have back to God, in the face of trying to overcome the “impossible”, we can rest assure that once the dust settles and the battle is won, we will be able to rejoice at the fact that God took our “little” and shaped it into VICTORY!!! That is why is it important to know what you have in order to recognize the miracle it will take to make up the difference to overcome the “challenge” you face.

When you live a life bent toward genuine love for God and others, the only regret that you’ll have is that you didn’t have more time to love.

Why not begin to “Reach Out Together” Today? Don’t let yesterday’s regret, destroy today’s opportunities for a better tomorrow.

Be Blessed,

B

What Matters Most

What matters most in life? Most people will say that what matters most is something much deeper than material things or temporal accomplishments, but do our actions really reflect this truth? At our small group study last night we explored the idea of “What Matters Most in Life” and the answer was Love.

A fulfilling life is one that is centered around a Love for God that is manifested through the way that we honor Him. We bring honor to our Father by obeying Him and our obedience can be seen through our Love for other people that we encounter along this journey called life. Without love, nothing you say, nothing you know, nothing you believe, nothing you give or accomplish has true eternal value. God looks at the heart of man and if your heart is not motivated by Love, you can fall into the trap of doing the “right” thing for the wrong reason, making your actions of little or no value.

We talked about how:

• Love is a Command not a suggestion or an Option. John 13:34 (Amplified Bible) I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.
• Love is a Choice
• Love is a Conduct 1 John 3:18 (New Living Translation) 18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
• Love is a Commitment

Love is a verb…an action word. It is not so much about what you say, what scriptures that you can quote, who is on the contact list in your I-phone, what degrees you have on your wall…etc. It is about how the truth about God’s love for you compels you to love other people. Don’t be like the medical “doctor” who parades around talking about his degrees and his knowledge, but he has never performed a surgery or had “hands on” experience ushering someone back to health. Too many of us are “hands-off” when it comes to interacting with others. That is why hurting people are not being helped in real ways.

We can not Love in a cocoon and we can’t genuinely love in a crowd. We must truly love in the smaller more manageable framework of a community. For it is in that intimate close knit setting that we can be transparent and can focus in on the needs of those around us and we can open our hearts to serve them. We must turn on our “Love Radar”, so that we can detect, identify and apply ourselves to the opportunities to love on others that we encounter throughout the day. Open your ears and listen, open your eyes and see…most people will tell you exactly what they need and how you can demonstrate love toward them.

The other night as my mother left my house she backed out of the drive way and did not turn on her headlights. Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), she couldn’t “see her way” through the darkness. It wasn’t until she turned on her lights that her way became clear. There are people all around you that are walking in the “darkness” of pain, disappointment, neglect, self pity, low-esteem etc. We must turn on the light of Love so that we can see them and so that we can impart that light into their lives.

Will you let your “light” of Love shine today? What really matters most to you…is it all about you…or is it all about Love?

Be Blessed,

B